By Chris Azzopardi | Q Syndicate

(Photo by Shaun Mader/PatrickMcMullan.com)

With all of Madonna’s metamorphoses throughout her balls-out career, slipping in and out of cultural zeitgeists (and accents), the queen chameleon is still the master of reinvention. Just don’t tell her that.

“Please don’t throw those tired, old clichés at me,” Madonna playfully insisted, nodding her head at me in half-kidding agitation.

Her annoyance was marked with cheekiness—and a smile—that only the First Lady of Pop can pull off, and has done so for three decades. This is a new chapter in the indelible diva’s run, as she drops her hyped 12th album, “MDNA,” in March via a three-disc deal with Interscope; plans to launch an extensive world tour; does, perhaps, the gayest Super Bowl halftime ever; and releases her directorial film debut “W.E.,” a pet project that recently won her a Golden Globe for Best Original Song.

And she—sexpot, spiritualist, Material Girl—really only has one word to define herself at the moment: “Busy.” Always unpredictable, she was not interested in breaking down the details of what’s to come. All she cared to talk about is the film, a semi-biopic on Wallis Simpson (played by Andrea Riseborough) and King Edward VIII dovetailed with a modern-day love story centered on fictionalized damsel-in-distress Wally Winthrop (Abbie Cornish).

Seated with Madonna at a Waldorf-Astoria suite in New York City on a December afternoon, one writer told her he had a question to kick off the interview. “I’m sure you do,” she quipped all-knowingly, as if to acknowledge the fact that she’s aware how much gay men go gaga over her. This was, after all, the room reserved for a small group of gay press, her first stop after a tardy arrival—“It’s all too much. That’s why I’m late! I’m late for everything now.”—and the one her longtime publicist, Liz Rosenberg, insisted will put her in a good mood for the rest of the day. Madonna agreed, sighing: “Let’s start with levity.”

(Courtesy The Weinstein Company)

Madonna was in her groove around us. She knew we get her even when she’s wielding snarky cracks. Ask her if she knows how to do the twist like the characters in her film and she responds: “Yes.” Hard pause. “Pretty simple.” Reminisce on when you last interviewed Madonna and she won’t care. “All right, let’s get down to business,” she insisted, done with small talk.

And so we did. Looking stunningly flawless in a deep blue dress with her now-infamous black gloves and a bracelet of four crosses to represent each one of her children, she gave us exactly what we wanted: Madonna. No pretense. No filter. No warm-and-fuzzy. In the interview, she talked about the challenges of being a strong woman in a man’s world, teaching her children to be unique and how outsiders can relate to her new film.

Chris Azzopardi: What similarities do you see between Wallis and Evita?

Madonna: What they have in common is what many people have in common who are public figures, who become iconic and who have some kind of historical impact, especially women—strong women. People have a tendency to feel intimidated by the strength of these women, and in order to accept—actually, the word ‘accept’ is wrong, because I don’t think they’re actually accepted. I think in order to deal with them, a lot of people who write history books, and humanity in general, has a tendency to diminish women or undermine their accomplishments or try to portray them as heretical or as someone with an evil possession of some kind of sorcery, or undermine their strength or intelligence, so I think they have those things in common. Now I’m not saying that Eva Peron is without flaws or that Wallis Simpson was this perfect holy human being, but I do think they were both dealt with in a very unfair way in the history books.

CA: Have you felt that way?

(Courtesy The Weinstein Company)

M: [Laughs, expecting the question] Well, yeah, sure. Yes, of course. I mean, I don’t think it’s just me. It’s strong women in general.

CA: Why?

M: Why? Because… [hesitates]

CA: You’re a threat?

M: No. It’s just the nature of the universe. It’s the nature of the world that we live in. We live in a patriarchal society and strong women have to…

CA: Challenge that?

M: No. They’re held under a microscope and judged and measured in a different way. That’s just the law of the universe right now.

CA: The film is driven by a contemporary woman’s view of this historical figure. Do you see anything in your story that may, or that you hope one day may, do the same for someone else?

M: The Duchess is really Wally’s spiritual guide, so to speak, and even though she [the Duchess] came from a different era where women didn’t have the same kind of choices and opportunities, we as women still are all raised on this fairytale idea that no matter how many opportunities we have education-wise or job-wise, your knight in shining armor is going to arrive on his beautiful white stallion and sweep you off your feet and take you off into the twilight, and you’re going to live happily ever after.

(Courtesy The Weinstein Company)

This is something that we all have to deal with when we grow up. But one person isn’t going to be all of those things to us; ultimately, we have to make our own happiness, and when we can own that and take responsibility for our own happiness, then we can find a mate for ourselves, or companion or significant other or whatever you want to call it. That’s certainly what the Duchess imparts to Wally, and I hope that I can inspire other women to think that way with my own life and behavior.

CA: What’s the thing that surprised you most about Wallis Simpson while doing your research?

M: The discoveries that Wally makes in her journey and her investigations were essentially mine. When I heard about the story—what a magnanimous, generous romantic gesture Edward VIII made toward Wallis Simpson—I thought the same thing that Wally says when she’s looking in the mirror trying on the necklace: ‘What must it feel to be loved that much?’

As I started to unravel the story and read the letters and go on the journey that I went on to write the script, I realized that, in fact, it wasn’t this fairytale romance as I had imagined it would be. I found that Wallis Simpson tried to avoid the actual marriage from taking place and how she saw the writing on the wall and how she tried her best to get Edward to see the writing on the wall. She was very astute in her observations, but obviously she couldn’t talk him into her point of view. He was just cunt-struck, as they say in England. [Laughs at her choice of words] Sorry!

(Courtesy The Weinstein Company)

CA: Did you ever think of making the movie without the contrasting modern-day story of someone reflecting on a historical figure?

M: No. I wasn’t interested in making a straightforward biopic. I don’t think it’s possible to tell the story of one person from beginning to end in two hours. I think that’s actually an unfair challenge to give oneself. And also, truth is so subjective and each of us could read the same five books about the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and we would walk away with a different interpretation. It would impact us in a different way, and so it was important for me to establish that. As much research as I did, and as close as I tried to stay to the truth and as authentic as I wanted to be, it was important that I be clear that it is a point of view. I never intended to just tell the story of Wallis Simpson.

CA: What’s the importance of telling this story from your point of view?

M: Most of the perspective on the story is, ‘Look what he gave up for her,’ and it’s told from the male point of view. I think that when Wally starts to make all these discoveries about the Duchess, she appeals to Mohamed Al Fayed [keeper of the Duke and Duchess’ letters] as an outsider, because he lives as a foreigner and as an outsider in England, not really accepted by society.

(Courtesy The Weinstein Company)

Really, in my movie, each character is an outsider. Wally is living in alienation in the Upper East Side, where she doesn’t fit in; [Wally’s love interest] Evgeni is a Ukrainian immigrant working as a security guard, but he’s really an intellectual and an artist and he doesn’t fit in; the Duchess doesn’t really fit into this aristocratic world that she’s found herself in, and Edward doesn’t really fit into the Victorian world that he was raised in. So it’s how all these people who feel like outsiders try to come to terms and find their way in the world.

CA: Is that something you draw from your own experience?

M: Yeah, but I think a lot of people can relate to it. A lot of us feel like we don’t fit into the conventional norm or what society expects from us. More and more, people are redefining what makes a family, what makes a couple, what makes love, what romance is, what a union is, what soul mates are—all of these things we’re reinventing, because family is what you make it. It’s funny how things turn out that way. Sometimes your parents aren’t really the people who nurture you. You have other role models in your life that become your mother and your father. It’s unusual when the family you’re born into is actually the people that feel like your family.

CA: Growing up, you rebelled against your upbringing and convention, becoming a major trailblazer. How is it different being a mother with kids who will not have to fight the same battles that you fought?

(Photo by Shaun Mader/PatrickMcMullan.com)

M: Not that this has anything to do with my film, but it’s an interesting question. I don’t think that I’m a conventional parent. I realize that, to a certain extent, my children are raised with privilege; they have housekeepers, I didn’t. There are a lot of differences. On the other hand, my parents raised me in a very conventional way and I rebelled against it, and now my children come to me and they often want to do things because everybody else does them, and I say to them, ‘That’s just the worst reason I’ve ever heard for doing something.’

I encourage them to question things. Question their behavior, take responsibility for their behavior, think outside the box. And they will have a different set of challenges. They will be compared to me. I will be some kind of a benchmark that they have to live with and deal with, and they are going to have to find their way in the world. We are all born with, and into, our challenges, so I don’t think for a second that life is going to be so simple and easy for them.

CA: Do you feel like all your years of research on Wallis Simpson is over with, or are you still invested in her?

M: I’m done with my deep research, but I still feel a strong connection to her. She’s always going to be a part of me. I am still uncovering little gems about her. People come to me and say, ‘Oh, look at this little note that we found in this handbag that was auctioned off 20 years ago.’ People are still bringing me bits and bobs and memorabilia, so I’m still discovering things about her—and I’m sure I will for the rest of my life.

I was actually going through my papers in my files the other day and found an astrological reading that someone had done for me 30 years ago. I was reading it, and the woman was talking about some aspect of my personality and she quoted Wallis Simpson: ‘All for love and the world well lost.’ I thought, ‘How weird, she was already a part of my life.’ That was a little foreshadowing. That happened 30 year ago, so who knows what’s going to happen 30 years from now.

—Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at chris-azzopardi.com.

By Chris Azzopardi | Q Syndicate

(Photo by Patrick Redmond)

Man, Glenn Close feels like a woman, but she sure doesn’t look like one in her new gender-bending movie. In “Albert Nobbs,” the actress—known especially to gay audiences for her role in the 1995 film “Serving in Silence: The Margarethe Cammermeyer Story,” about a real-life lesbian soldier—drops her voice a few notches, wears a top hat and wraps her torso in a girdle, all to keep her job while living in late-19th-century Ireland.

Recently nominated for an Oscar, the role—originated by Close on stage nearly 30 years ago—also earned her a Golden Globe nomination. Nods also went to costar Janet McTeer for playing Hubert, a cross-dressing lesbian who’s living the life that Albert so desperately wants.

In a recent one-on-one, Close revealed her proudest part of the film, how she thinks Albert identifies sexually and looked back at her unexpected bisexual role on “Will & Grace.”

Chris Azzopardi: How was it getting in touch with your masculine side?

Glenn Close: [Laughs] It’s funny, because I never think of Albert as a man. I always thought of her, even as Albert, as a woman, kind of wearing a mask. As far as getting in touch with her movement and her voice and all that, I would think back on the reality of what she must have gone through when she first had the idea to disappear as a waiter. The shoes would’ve been too heavy and too big, the pants would’ve been too long. Waiters in Victorian times, who were very formal, weren’t supposed to look anybody in the eye—they were seen, not heard—and so she couldn’t have chosen a better way to disappear.

(Photo by Patrick Redmond)

CA: People aren’t sure how to define Albert Nobbs. I’ve heard both transgender and lesbian used to describe her. What do you think?

GC: I don’t think she is either, and that’s what fascinates me about this character. She disappeared when she was 14 and she emerges 30 years later. She’s never been in a home, she’s never had any intimate human contact, and she’s never been loved by someone. Everything, in a way, is new and unexplored. She does not have, when you first see her, a hugely active regretful longing in her life. She counts her money, she wants to be left alone, she wants to have the security of her job so that she won’t end up on the street, and that’s fine with her. She’s lower-class and working, and it’s only when Hubert comes into her life and she’s revealed that, first of all, she fears life as she knows it ending, but when she hears Hubert’s story, naturally, she thinks, ‘Can I do that?’ But she doesn’t have the tools; she just doesn’t. Hubert’s one mistake is that she thinks Albert is much more capable of forging a life, but she just isn’t.

(Photo by Patrick Redmond)

CA: One of the best lines in the film comes from Hubert, who tells Albert that ‘you can be whoever you are.’ That’s such a powerful mantra for all of us, but the gay community can definitely relate. What effect do you hope that line, and this film, has on the LGBT community?

GC: I hope that line makes them really happy. You’re absolutely right to pick out that line, because it comes after a scene where Albert, in the dress, realizes that’s not who she is either – and that’s when Hubert says, ‘Albert, you can be whoever you are. Look what you’ve done.’ It’s a wonderful moment.

CA: What about the film, and the role of Albert Nobbs, makes you most proud?

GC: Moments in the movie when I think people honestly forget what they’re looking at. It’s not two gay men and one confused other woman; it’s two people in a loving and passionate relationship, being kind to a third person. And gender really, at that point, doesn’t matter. I know that it does matter, but in some ways, if you look at it from some angles, gender should be irrelevant. People should be able to love whoever they have that safety and connection with. That’s a basic human need. And that’s what Albert takes on. What she longs for is that sitting room. Those two chairs in front of the fire represent everything that she wants. And it’s basically a safe place with someone across the room. It’s as simple as that.

CA: The film, though it’s set in a different time period, is still very relevant to how people nowadays are resisting labels and gender identity. People no longer want to be called gay and lesbian. Queer is now being embraced. Do you see parallels between the film’s resistance of labels and the LGBT community?

(Photo by Patrick Redmond)

GC: Absolutely. I always have. I think it’s why this simple story is so powerful. What Janet brought to the part of Hubert is absolutely fantastic, because Hubert defies labels. She doesn’t care about labels. She’s happy with being Hubert, and it’s a great thing to see. No big deals made out of it. But here’s somebody who, even though she has to masquerade as a man, is actually who she is. She’s comfortable with that. Like Janet has said, Hubert doesn’t want to be in a dress, but she’ll do it for Albert. But nah, she’s happy if she never gets in a dress.

CA: Let’s talk about all the gay cred you have, and not just with “Albert Nobbs.” You played a lesbian soldier, and kissed Judy Davis, in “Serving in Silence: The Margarethe Cammermeyer Story.” But you also dry humped Debra Messing on “Will & Grace.”

GC: [Laughs] Oh my god, that was so funny!

CA: I didn’t forget about that, Glenn.

GC: Too funny. I went out there thinking I was going to be a marriage counselor. They said, ‘No, no—you’re going to be this bisexual international photographer.’ And I go, ‘Oh, Okay!’

(Photo by Patrick Redmond)

CA: You know, many consider you a dykon. When did you first feel embraced by the gay community?

GC: Oh, that’s so nice. I’m so flattered. Well, you can’t be in my profession and not have wonderful, important gay friends. I guess you can’t be anywhere in life now and not have wonderful, important gay friends. So it’s just a no-brainer.

I started this organization to fight stigma around mental illness, and that’s one kind of frontier—are you saying ‘queer community’ now? What are you saying?

CA: Sure, queer works.

GC: You’ve all come a long way as far as rights, and I think mentally ill people, many of them, lead secret lives. I don’t know how I got on that.

CA: With the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” how do you reflect on your role in “Serving in Silence” and the progress gay people have made in the military?

(Photo by Patrick Redmond)

GC: Incredible. I was in touch with Margarethe Cammermeyer when it happened, and we saw it back, what the situation was when we made that movie, and it was amazing. It didn’t ruin her life but it certainly stopped her life on a trajectory that she wanted it to go on—she wanted to be a general and that’s a loss. She was a great soldier. She was remarkable. So I’m very proud of that. I was honored to try to walk a little bit in her shoes, which was impossible. But I’m very proud.

CA: And that kiss: I remember you saying that for 30 seconds you felt what it was like to be attracted to the same sex.

GC: Yeah, absolutely.

CA: If you weren’t an actress, do you think you would’ve ever been inclined to see what that felt like?

GC: Oh lord. I don’t know. That’s hard. Obviously it depends on the individual. I can’t answer that. If I wasn’t an actress, I don’t know what kind of life I’d have.

—Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at chris-azzopardi.com.

By Anthony King | GSD Editor

“Glitterboys and Ganglands” at the Festival. (Courtesy Lauren Beukes)

The San Diego Black Film Festival celebrates its tenth anniversary with this year’s opening ceremonies, taking place on Thursday, Jan. 26. On Saturday, Jan. 28 the director of the Black Film Festival, Karen Willis, will host a two and a half hour screening for the LGBT community called the GLBT Meet-Up, with five short films and one feature-length documentary. The Festival ends on Sunday, Jan. 29.

The Black Film Festival’s GLBT Meet-Up highlights a selection of films about both the African-American LGBT experience as well as the international African LGBT experience. “The GLBT Meet-Up started about six years ago, and it’s really grown,” said Willis. “It’s very important not only to the festival, but also to the city.”

The international nature of this year’s selected films—including the feature “Glitterboys and Ganglands” from South Africa and “Excuses for Jeff,” which looks at homophobia in Jamaica—is an important aspect of the Festival for Willis. “It’s an opportunity for the larger GLBT community to really… see what GLBT community members of African decent or from foreign countries in Africa and the diaspora… [are] doing,” Willis said.

“To keep up, culturally, on what’s happening with GLBT members of African decent: that’s why it’s really important,” she added.

In “Glitterboys and Ganglands,” a documentary directed by Lauren Beukes, three contestants in the Miss Gay Western Cape contest are featured in interviews leading up to the contest as well as in their performances competing against each other. Miss Gay Western Cape is the largest drag performance contest in the region, and, while lighthearted, the film addresses issues such as poverty, sexual violence and HIV.

Eva Torez from “Glitterboys and Ganglands” screening at the Festival. (Courtesy Lauren Beukes)

“It’s a film about the drama of a slightly unusual beauty pageant, following the lives… [of] a ballroom dancing mechanic to a pre-op transsexual trapeze artist and a pageant power couple,” Beukes said. “That they happen to be queer and black, or mixed race, and female impersonators is obviously important, but only one aspect of what this film is about.”

Beukes said she was surprised by the acceptance and “good humor” the contestants had during the pageant, after specifically wanting to look at female impersonation in, what she called, “communit[ies] where historical social issues [like] poverty, gangster-ism and more conservative attitudes towards sexuality are part of the context of the contestants’ lives.”

Willis highlighted “Glitterboys and Ganglands” by saying, “It shows that no matter where you are—the country you’re in—certain segments of the GLBT community mirror those almost anywhere…. They’re doing some of the same things that the GLBT community is doing in the U.S.”

“Excuses for Jeff” Director Gibrey Allen said he believes screening his film at the Festival is particularly important for the black community. “We’re often disturbingly quiet when it comes to the social dialogue of homosexuality and I’m hoping this movie can help change that,” he said.

Allen’s film is the story of Ryan, a New York City native struggling to make sense of the brutal killing of his gay friend in Jamaica. In documentary-style, “Excuses for Jeff” highlights three friends discussing their own reasons for not attending the funeral and uncovers homophobia, bigotry and macho-ism in the process.

Gibrey Allen wrote and directed “Excuses for Jeff.” (Courtesy Gibrey Allen)

“I set the film in Jamaica to shed light on the alarming bigotry still present in my home country,” Allen said. “America has come a long way and still has a long way to go, but Jamaica is woefully far behind when it comes to accepting homosexuality.”

Willis agreed by saying “Excuses for Jeff” mirrors many attitudes in the United States. “Some people are being killed [abroad] just like many people are killed in the U.S. for simply being GLBT,” she said. “It’s an opportunity for the GLBT community at large so say, ‘Let’s look at this segment of the community, which are people of African descent, and let’s see how they are fairing all over the world.’”

Allen said he has yet to screen the film in Jamaica but is interested, saying he is cautious and optimistic about the film’s reception in his home country. “If this movie can facilitate even a conversation about change in that part of the world, it will be worth it,” he said.

The Festival’s GLBT Meet-Up highlights four other short films, including “Slate,” about a manipulative hustler plotting to kill his pimp; “Where Truth Lies,” about a man on the down-low grappling with his lies; and “Government,” a comedy about Miss Kitty, a man who tells women what they really want.

The fourth, “Carmen’s Place,” is directed by Anna Wilking and is an intimate documentary about life at a transgender shelter for teenagers in New York City. Wilking first discovered the shelter as a volunteer, and decided to turn her experience into the short film.

Directed by Dane Joseph, “Where Truth Lies” is part of this year’s SD Black Film Festival (Courtesy Novo Film Project)

“The purpose of my film is to share with the public the day-to-day lives of transgender youth,” Wilking said. “I wanted to focus on these kids’ everyday lives, without the makeup, glamour or anything to show that… in many ways, transgender people are exactly like you or me.” The shelter is run by Father Braxton, an Episcopalian priest, who, Wilking said, “wanted to work with transgender youth because he sees them as the most marginalized.”

Wilking’s film will screen with the others as part of the Festival’s GLBT Meet-Up starting at 2:30 p.m. on Jan. 28. Individual tickets are $10, and can be purchased online or at the Festival box office at Reading Gaslamp Cinemas, 701 5th Ave., downtown. Festival passes are available, and all films are screened at the Reading Gaslamp Cinemas. For more information or to purchase tickets visit sandiegoblackfilmfestival.com.

By Anthony King | GSD Editor

Mayor Sanders at the conference (Courtesy Freedom to Marry)

San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders announced his support for the national marriage equality initiative Mayors for the Freedom to Marry in a press conference in Washington, D.C. on Friday, Jan. 20. As co-chair of the initiative, Sanders joined over 80 mayors from cities across the United States who are pledging support for same-sex marriage as well as federal recognition for same-sex marriage.

At the press conference, Sanders said, “Some of you may know that I didn’t always support the right to marry, but, like many people, my position has evolved. Several years ago, I believed that civil unions were fair. The irony is, I held this mistaken view even though my oldest daughter, Lisa, is a lesbian.”

In 2007, Sanders announced his support of the San Diego City Council resolution in support of marriage equality, reversing his initial public stance against same-sex marriage. “I was wrong,” Sanders said at the conference. “Fairness means giving people the same rights and freedoms as everybody else. There’s no such thing as fair enough. It’s either fair or it’s not.”

Mayors for the Freedom to Marry is part of the Freedom to Marry organization’s national campaign to grow support for ending marriage discrimination. “Many Americans who, for decades, opposed the freedom to marry for same-sex couples are rethinking their position,” said Freedom to Marry National Campaign Director Marc Solomon.

Victoria Kerley, president of the San Diego chapter of Log Cabin Republicans, spoke in support of Sanders’s participation in the initiative. “We are very excited about Mayor Sanders’s involvement,” she said, “both because it’s a Republican voice on that committee and because it shows [how] missions, like Log Cabin’s, can work.”

Kerley also said social issues, like marriage equality, should be important for all local leaders, including mayoral candidates. “LGBT voters are no different than any other voters,” she said. “I think that social issues carry equal weight to the fiscal or financial issues because how we build our family is as important as how we feed our family.”

San Diego District Attorney and mayoral candidate Bonnie Dumanis applauded Sanders’s participation. “Mayor Sanders continues to demonstrate leadership on this issue and I support his participation in the Mayors for the Freedom to Marry coalition. Like the Mayor, my support of marriage equality is on the record,” she said.

“I married my spouse, Denise, and held a news conference to fight Prop 8 when it was on the ballot,” Dumanis said, adding, “As Mayor, I will continue to speak out on equality issues for all San Diegans.” Dumanis said two plaintiffs who filed a civil suit challenging Prop 8 have endorsed her for mayor of San Diego.

Other mayoral co-chairs for the initiative include Annise Parker, Houston; Thomas Menino, Boston; Michael Bloomberg, New York; and Antonio Villaraigosa, Los Angeles. Currently, there are over 100 signatures from mayors, all pledging to push for marriage equality in their cities and states.

While Kerley applauded Sanders for serving as the only Republican mayor chair for the initiative, she said marriage equality is becoming less about party politics.

“It goes to both parties equally,” Kerley said. “I find, locally, that I am able to work with San Diego Democrats for Equality and the HRC [Human Rights Campaign] more openly, despite my Republican views on other things. We have a shared vision and a shared goal,” she said.

“Together we will help to highlight the injustice and discrimination caused by the denial of marriage because if we truly believe in family values, then we should value all our families,” Villaraigosa said at the press conference.

By Margie M. Palmer | GSD Reporter

Dr. Delores Jacobs (Courtesy OutThink Partners)

Union Bank is honoring local heroes who are helping to enrich the fabric of their communities for the 17th year with its Local Heroes Awards ceremony on Feb. 8. Through partnership programs with public television stations throughout California, including San Diego State University-based KPBS, tribute is paid to these individuals for making a difference in the lives of others by improving their workplace, profession, neighborhood, community, region and world.

Union Bank spokesperson Steven Roth said the first local heroes honored included African Americans, Asian Pacific Americans and Latinos who were recognized during Black History Month, Asian Pacific American Heritage Month and Hispanic Heritage Month.

In 2010, the scope of the program was expanded to include Women’s History Month, Jewish American Heritage Month and Native American Heritage Month. In 2011, the Local Heroes program was further expanded, adding heroes for LGBT Pride Month and Disability Awareness Month.

San Diego’s inaugural LGBT honorees include San Diego LGBT Community Center Chief Executive Officer Dr. Delores Jacobs and long-time community activist and San Diego City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez.

Jacobs is being recognized for her dedication, commitment and leadership to several organizations, including the San Diego YMCA and AIDS Walk San Diego. She has also received LEAD San Diego‘s Visionary Award for Diversity and commendations from U.S. Congressperson Susan Davis and Assemblymember Toni Atkins.

Jacobs said she is privileged to serve the LGBT community with a number of talented individuals and feels both honored and humbled to be singled out amid such an accomplished group.

Nicole Murray Ramirez (Courtesy OutThink Partners)

“There are so many talented community leaders, staff members, board members and volunteers, all of whom have dedicated years to the struggle for equality and have achieved so much,” Jacobs said. “I could think of dozens I thought more deserving.”

Ramirez has been a gay Latino activist for over 40 years. He is a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and is also serving a four-year term on the board of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. He has served as a board member of the Human Rights Campaign, chair of the National Latino/a Lesbian and Gay Organization (LLEGO), national chair of Stonewall 25 and state chair of Equality California.

Ramirez said that people who make a difference in the San Diego community come from all walks of life. Recognizing LGBT community members for their contributions, he said, is long overdue.

“We are police officers, we are nurses and we are civic volunteers,” he said. “We are involved in the Parent Teachers Associations in our schools and we are ordinary citizens.  We also stand out and volunteer to make our city a better place to live, and I think it is important that we are being included in this acknowledgement.”

KPBS General Manager Tom Karlo said the station is proud to feature the honorees in their program.

“Their stories truly inspire others in our community and make a positive difference in our neighborhoods and the world,” he said.

Roth said he believes it is important to celebrate the unique cultural blend within the communities Union Bank serves. “Our success as a company depends on it,” he said, “and we are proud to honor the work of the local heroes as an example for all of us.”

The yearlong celebration of diversity culminates with the Local Heroes Awards ceremony, where recipients—including Jacobs and Ramirez—will be formally recognized. The awards event will also be broadcast on KPBS-TV on Apr. 5 at 10:30 p.m.

(l) Greer Grimsely stars in San Diego Opera’s “Salome” along with Lise Lindstrom (not in photo) opening Jan. 28. (Photo by Cory Weaver/San Francisco Opera)

San Diego Opera
Civic Theatre (3rd and B St.)

• Jan. 28 (Sat) 7 p.m.
• Jan. 31 (Tues) 7 p.m.
• Feb. 3 (Fri) 8 p.m.
• Feb. 5 (Sun) 2 p.m.

(619) 533-7000
sdopera.com

Diversionary Executive Director John Alexander sheds light on the classic opera’s complexity

By Charlene Baldridge | GSD Reporter

Verbally precise and funny, iconic gay playwright and novelist Oscar Wilde (“The Importance of Being Earnest,” “A Woman of No Importance,” “The Picture of Dorian Gray”) wrote an unrelenting tragedy titled “Salome” in 1891. Addressing the Irish author’s play and its use in Richard Strauss’s 1905 opera is the epitome of complexity, yet Diversionary Theatre Executive Director John Alexander, who recently participated in a San Diego Opera forum about the playwright and the opera, does so with a strong knowledge of the legend.

Gay San Diego: As many know, Wilde’s play became the libretto for Richard Strauss’s scandalous opera, “Salome,” which is set to open San Diego Opera’s season on Jan. 28, with additional performances Jan. 31 and Feb. 3 and 5.

John Alexander: Not only did Wilde [1854-1900] become a gay icon, most of what people on the street know about ‘Salome’—the ‘Dance of the Seven Veils’ and that [Salome] was this trollop princess who wanted John the Baptist’s head on a platter —comes from the opera. Most of the opera comes from Wilde’s play. Actually, there’s little about Salome in the Bible, and she’s not even named. That’s one of the more interesting things about this story.

GSD: Wilde had long been aware of numerous literary and artistic treatments of the Salome story, including Maurice Maeterlinck’s ‘La Princess Maleine,’ Joris Karl Huysmans’ novel ‘A Rebours,’ and Gustave Flaubert’s short story ‘Herodias.’ The artist Gustave Moreau’s painting ‘Salome Dancing Before Herod’ and the symbolist poetry of Stephane Mallarmé also influenced Wilde, who had long contemplated writing his own ‘Salome,’ which he did in 1891. When it was finally produced, many critics and others declared the work derivative, perhaps justifiably, but there is no doubt that Wilde made ‘Salome his own’. One is reminded that Wilde once famously said, ‘Of course, I plagiarize. It is the privilege of the appreciative.’

JA: Wilde, who was living in France and wrote ‘Salome’ in French, was really commenting on British society’s negative reaction to women’s coming of age in London. Writing about this trollop princess who turned Herod’s empire upside down interested Wilde, who wanted to make a subversive comment.

GSD: Wilde loved women. He loved his mother. He loved his wife, with whom he had two children.

JA: Wilde became a gay icon after his imprisonment and death. Even though he had affairs with men, notably Lord Alfred [Bosie] Douglas, he wasn’t gay in the sense we think of today. As you say, he had children; he loved women. He was also very flamboyant. He’s famous for his trials and he’s famous for going to prison for sleeping with a man and that whole episode is tied up with the writing of ‘Salome.’

It was really a lover’s spat over [Bosie’s] horrible English translation of ‘Salome’ that led to the trials. Historically, Bosie comes across as a conniving, scheming, little fop. The fight that precipitated the gross indecency trials was really a fight with Bosie’s father, the Marquess of Queensbury, who was an angry, vindictive man. It had a lot to do with defending the honor of both the family and the son.

We hear a made-up version of a Biblical story [in the opera], performed in German, based on an English play that was originally written in French. It’s a big, scary game of telephone.

GSD: When the play went into rehearsals in London in 1892, the Chamberlain prohibited performance because it depicted biblical characters on stage. It actually premiered in Paris when Wilde was in prison. There was a scandal, too, when the opera premiered in 1905, because everything in it—from the storyline to Strauss’s passionate music—was considered degenerate.

On the opposite end of the spectrum from the sweeping, 90-minute tragedy, there is Ken Russell’s 1988 outrageous parody film, ‘Salome’s Last Dance.’ In it, Wilde and Bosie visit a London brothel for an evening of frolic. To surprise Wilde, the brothel owner stages ‘Salome,’ word for word. At the end of the film, Wilde, about to be jailed for gross indecency, arises from his sofa, and says, ‘I didn’t know I’d written a comedy.’ Both the play and the opera are anything but comic.

JA: We’ve come full circle with Wilde’s ‘Salome,’ from the play, to Strauss’s opera to Ken Russell’s crazy film, all of which—along with plays and movies about Wilde— further contribute to the legend.

—

For the San Diego Opera production, one of opera’s legendary baritone-hunks, Greer Grimsley, is a seasoned John the Baptist, having first sung the role at Scottish Opera in 1988. His Salome is soprano Lise Lindstrom, who debuted in San Diego last season as Princess Turandot. Tenor Alan Glassman portrays Herod.

The production features two company debuts: Russian mezzo-soprano Irina Mishura as Herodias and American-born tenor Sean Pannikar as Narraboth, whose character commits suicide when spurned by Salome. British conductor Steuart Bedford leads the thrilling San Diego Symphony; American stage director and choreographer Seán Curran stages the work.

AIDS activist spoke for LGBT marriage equality and health rights

(l to r) Mike Tidmus with Fred Karger (Courtesy Fred Karger via Frontiers L.A.)

By Anthony King | GSD Editor

Mike Tidmus, San Diego LGBT and AIDS activist, died on Sunday, Jan. 15 after a battle  with cancer. He was 60 years old.

Born in Toronto, Canada, Tidmus moved to San Diego in 2008 after working abroad in advertising and marketing as a creative director, art director, writer and photographer. It was during his time in Europe that Tidmus became an avid supporter of peace, civil rights and equality.

Upon his move to San Diego, Tidmus became a vocal advocate for LGBT rights in California, including marriage equality and funding for HIV and AIDS programs. Tidmus called himself a “long-term AIDS survivor” on his blog, miketidmus.com. Tidmus said he had been living with HIV for 25 years.

While living in San Diego, Tidmus began working on web design projects with openly gay presidential candidate Fred Karger. Karger and Tidmus first met at an anniversary rally of the Manchester Hyatt hotel boycott of 2008, and Tidmus became an avid supporter of Karger’s presidential run.

Karger said Tidmus was “one of the unsung heroes of the LGBT civil rights movement and the fight against HIV [and] AIDS. We worked together and became good friends the past three years.”

Tidmus’s activism for HIV and AIDS was well documented on his blog, which also included his personal views against Christian politics and right-wing conservatism. “Mike was a man of few words,” Karger said, “but someone whose written words live on. He was a prolific writer and blogger and his smarts and wit shined through everything he did.”

San Diego journalist and photographer Rex Wockner met Tidmus when Tidmus initially moved to San Diego. “He seemed to me to be unusually fearless in taking on anti-gay forces via his writing on his blog …with sarcasm, wit and disrespect,” Wockner said. “Mike was a fighter in every way. I, and many others, will miss him.”

On Jan. 16, one day after Tidmus’s death, Frontiers magazine editor Karen Ocamb posted an online tribute to Tidmus recounting his activism and fight for LGBT rights. Ocamb met Tidmus in 2008 during the end of the No on 8 campaign, “when his rants could be both eloquent, profane, funny and spot-on,” Ocamb said.

“…[H]e was having a very difficult time with his health over the past nine months,” Ocamb said, “especially how he was treated as a person with HIV without insurance.” In the tribute, Ocamb said Tidmus was disappointed with HIV and AIDS care in San Diego and was critical of decreased funding for services across California.

“Most of our communications were about HIV [and] AIDS,” Ocamb said. “I published a piece in Frontiers… about [then] California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger red-lining the Therapeutic Monitoring Program in the budget. That program tested viral loads and whether medications were working or not,” she said.

In response, Tidmus contacted Ocamb thanking her for the article and saying, “we have to protect what we gain. We will reverse Schwarzenegger’s cuts and restore funding to our AIDS [and] HIV programs and services here in California.”

Tidmus’s brother, Lindsay Tidmus, has been communicating with the community regarding his brother’s death via Mike Tidmus’s Facebook page. “In lieu of flowers,” Lindsay Tidmus said, “my family is asking for donations be made in Mike’s name to PAWS San Diego.”

Many community members have been posting comments to Lindsay Tidmus on the Facebook page, prompting him to say, “Thank you all for such wonderful comments. They have really helped my family during this time.”

PAWS San Diego County is a nonprofit organization that provides services for the animals of elderly, disabled or chronically ill people in San Diego, including those with HIV or AIDS. Donations in Mike Tidmus’s name can be given to the organization at 6160 Fairmount Ave. or online at pawssdc.org. For more information, call PAWS at (619) 297-7297.

The San Diego LGBT Pride (SD Pride) organization, lead by Executive Director Dwayne Crenshaw, held a community meeting at The LGBT Center on Wednesday, Jan. 25 to present a plan and collect applications for the organization’s first Pride Advisory Council. The Advisory Council, the last of 15 recommendations given to SD Pride two years ago, will consist of 10 to 30 members, none of which will be current SD Pride board members or staff. In a mission statement provided by SD Pride, the Advisory Council will “provide a forum for the San Diego community to provide input and recommendations on matters of significant interest” to the SD Pride organization.

SD Pride will select the first 10 members of the council, with remaining members determined by the new Advisory Council. Other stipulations include equal representation of men and women on the Advisory Council and that the Council represents the ethnic diversity of San Diego County. “The Council is instructed to strive for the diversity of our community, [in] gender and ethnically, and also the diversity of interests and experiences,” Crenshaw said at the meeting. Set to meet at least quarterly, the Council will report recommendations to the SD Pride board, which meets several times a month. The board is not required to adopt recommendations from the Council.

“This Council is charged with setting its agenda and letting [SD Pride] know what’s important,” Crenshaw said. While there was concern voiced at the meeting over the influence the Advisory Council would have with SD Pride official decisions, Crenshaw reiterated the Council is being organized in response to community feedback and SD Pride is welcoming Council participation. “It seems to me you’ve left it wide open for the Council to build its own mission and to have great direct input to the board. I think that’s a good thing,” Nicole Murray Ramirez said to Crenshaw at the meeting.

SD Pride will be collecting applications for the Council until approximately Feb. 15, with the initial 10 members announced on Feb. 22, Crenshaw said. Interested individuals did not need to be present at Wednesday’s meeting, as the Community Advisory Council application will be available on the SD Pride website. For more information on the Council visit sdpride.org or call (619) 297-7683.

DEMOCRATS FOR EQUALITY REVEAL NEW LOGO

The San Diego Democrats for Equality revealed the winning design in their contest for a new logo at their meeting on Thursday, Jan. 26. Community member Toni Duran submitted the winning red, white and blue logo, featuring the LGBT political organization’s new name and a triangle with four stars. When the organization changed its name from the San Diego Democratic Club to San Diego Democrats for Equality in September, they conducted a design competition for a new logo. The competition was open to both members and non-members, with a selection committee from the organization ultimately choosing Duran’s design. After several revisions, the selection committee released a few versions of the design for feedback from the board, members and the community via an online poll. In a statement from the organization, “Our triangle pays homage to a very early version of a logo used by the club years ago. The red, white and blue theme reflects the American flag. The four stars in the triangle symbolize the community we represent, L-G-B-T, [and] the double bars between ‘Democrats’ and ‘Equality’ symbolize equal signs, which is what we have worked towards since 1975.”

DATE SET FOR HILLCREST SIGN AUCTION

The Hillcrest Business Association (HBA) announced the dates for the official auction of the 1984 Hillcrest sign. For three days, starting at 10 a.m. on Monday, Jan. 30, the 1984 sign will be available for bids from community members and business in the Hillcrest district. The auction will end Wednesday, Feb. 1 at 5 p.m. and stipulations of the auction state the sign must be displayed in Hillcrest and the new owner must provide transport of the sign to the new location. The 1984 sign was replaced with a refurbished Hillcrest sign in August 2011 and the HBA sent out a public request for ownership proposals in September 2011. After hearing from three interested parties, the HBA board decided to hold an auction for the sign with proceeds going to the HBA Capital Projects fund. Interested auctioneers must go to hillcrestbia.org for more information and to place their bids.

BLACK AIDS AWARENESS DAY FEB. 7

National Black HIV and AIDS Awareness Day (NBHAAD) was founded in 1999 to provide assistance to African-American and black communities and organizations working toward HIV testing and treatment. Tuesday, February 7 marks the 12th year for the awareness day, and the organization is focusing on four points in its outreach: education, testing, involvement and treatment. Healthy Black Communities, Inc. is overseeing the initiative. According to the NBHAAD website, of the total number of reported AIDS cases in California, African-American or black persons living with AIDS represents 18 percent. Additionally, African-Americans and blacks represent 20 percent of all new AIDS cases in California. “We have to challenge the mindset and notion that black people are disposable based on their sexual orientation, drug addiction or behavior,” said LaMont Evans of Healthy Black Communities, Inc. “We didn’t have that option on the slave ships or plantations, so why now? We can turn this epidemic around if we act now,” Evans said. Evans is also the chairperson and overseer of the HBHAAD Planning Council. Locally, the Family Health Centers of San Diego is hosting a daylong health fair on Feb. 7, with free rapid HIV testing and educational material in the Rite Aid Pharmacy parking lot at 1735 Euclid Ave. from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. For more information visit fhcsd.org and blackaidsday.org.

UPTOWN INTERIM HEIGHT ORDINANCE EXTENDED

At the Tuesday, Jan. 24 San Diego City Council meeting, Councilmembers voted unanimously (7-0) to extend the Interim Height Ordinance (IHO) in Hillcrest and the rest of the Uptown community district for two additional years. Councilmember Marti Emerald was absent from the meeting. Originally established in 2008, the IHO set a limit on new building and structure heights to 65 feet in Hillcrest and 50 feet in Mission Hills until the Uptown Community Plan is updated. The Community Plan, which was originally established in 1988, is currently under review. Councilmember Kevin Faulconer and Councilmember Todd Gloria, whose districts are directly affected by the IHO, supported the IHO extension while pushing for the completion of the Uptown Community Plan. This is the second extension of the IHO, with a new expiration date of Jan. 2014.

The Hillcrest Town Council approved the City Council decision, saying in a statement, “The Hillcrest Town Council has worked very hard on the IHO extension… because that is what the community has asked us to do. We are grateful that now we won’t have to come back for two years.” Hillcrest Business Association Executive Director Benjamin Nicholls, although initially against the IHO extension, said, “While we didn’t get everything we were hoping for, I do think this is a good compromise. It sets a timeline for getting this plan done and creates some certainty for business people and those who wish to invest in Hillcrest.” As part of the vote, Gloria said organizers working on the Uptown Community Plan needed to provide a timeline for completion to the City’s Land Use and Housing Committee March 7 meeting. A second reading of the IHO extension is scheduled for the Jan. 23 City Council meeting.

Anthony King

Marriage equality is happening swiftly in Washington State, following Governor Christine Gregoire’s monumental announcement in support of pursuing legislative action to modify the State’s current laws set in place in 2008. Upon her request, the State Senate launched Bill 6239 and quickly came up one vote shy of the 25 necessary to pass, paving the way for a House vote and, ultimately, a law supporting same-sex marriage in the State.

Following a push from constituents in Washington Sen. Mary Margaret Haugen’s district, Haugen released a statement announcing her support of the Bill, becoming the 25th vote and the tipping point for the Bill in their Senate. Her statement was eloquent, and spoke well to the issue.

“I happen to be the 25th because I insisted on taking this much time to hear from my constituents and to sort it out for myself, to reconcile my religious beliefs with my beliefs as an American, as a legislator and as a wife and mother who cannot deny to others the joys and benefits I enjoy,” she said.

Haugen, a Democrat, is being applauded for coming out in support of the bill, as are Republican Senators Steve Litzow and Cheryl Pflung.

San Diego Log Cabin Republicans (LCR) Chapter President Victoria Kerley told me she believes marriage equality is increasingly becoming a non-partisan issue, and I agree. Kerley said the LCR and their political counterpart, the San Diego Democrats for Equality, are working toward a shared vision and goal on the issue.

A stance on marriage equality can no longer be construed as a Democrat or Republican stance. It is—as it always has been—a civil rights stance.

What concerns me, then, is Haugen’s acquiescence to the notion that states should place our community’s civil rights in the hands of voters. She said her preference was to “put this issue on the ballot and give all Washingtonians the opportunity to wrestle with this issue,” a sentiment shared by many of her Republican counterparts in the Senate.

In California, we know all too well the outcome of putting basic civil rights to a broad, popular vote. In 2008, Prop 8 divided the state, causing rifts in communities and families that were unnecessary and saw supporters and proponents spend an estimated $80 million dollars on the proposition.

Now, we are all facing the legal battle to reverse the damage caused by letting a majority dictate the rights of a minority.

Most likely, voters in Washington State will be going down the same path as those in California. Voters in Maine, as announced this week, will be doing the same come November.

All people would be better off heeding Haugen’s other words: “I don’t see where my believing marriage is between a man and a woman gives me the right to decide that for everyone else.”

Allan Acevedo | Political Spectrum

Allan Acevedo

Over the weekend, I was sharing with a friend my excitement about Rep. Tammy Baldwin’s (D-WI) historic run for U.S. Senate. She may become the nation’s first openly gay member of the senate. In my excitement, I did not actually touch on any of Baldwin’s accomplishments with my friend, and cited only her sexual orientation as the reason to support her candidacy.

To this, my friend asked if it was hypocritical of me to support Baldwin’s candidacy but not support Councilmember Carl DeMaio’s candidacy for mayor, as he is an openly gay man.

I feel the need to highlight an important distinction between DeMaio and other openly LGBT elected officials such as Baldwin, Councilmember Todd Gloria, Assemblymember Toni Atkins, and Calif. State Senator Christine Kehoe.

DeMaio is a public official who happens to be gay. He is not, and has never represented himself to be, a gay public official. His sexual orientation is ancillary to his political ideology and, some would say, his aspirations. This distinction is one I think DeMaio himself recognizes.

I know that Baldwin has often stated publicly she does not want to be defined by her sexual orientation alone, but that has not stopped her from pursuing legislation in favor of equal rights for our community. She sought to expand hate-crime laws to include gender and sexual orientation. She strongly and openly opposes the constitutional ban on same-sex marriage and has three times sponsored the House’s Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act.

In 2008, Baldwin co-founded and currently co-chairs the Congressional LGBT Equality Caucus. Her position on equality, as well as her willingness to advocate for it, is unequivocal.

The same cannot be said about DeMaio. He simply refuses to recognize his sexual orientation as a guidepost for his political advocacy. He has refused to publicly take a stand for or against Prop 8, thus refusing to champion the rights of his own community.

It is his silence on this definitive civil rights battle of our generation that ultimately disqualifies him from receiving my support for public office. This litmus test should be true for any advocate for equality. We need to ensure that we are electing pro-equality candidates who will advocate for our rights and interests.

DeMaio cannot advocate our community’s interest by virtue of his sexual orientation alone. He needs to break his silence and speak up for our community’s needs. Failing this, we must look for another candidate who will—in word and action—represent our community.

I think this is where many find confusion. What more representation could the LGBT community seek than to have an openly gay person hold the highest office in our city? By and large, I believe when we discuss the demographic makeup of our elected officials we are using demography as a proxy for substantive representation.

We assume that a Hispanic elected-official will represent Hispanic interests as much as we assume that a LGBT representative will advocate for the rights of the LGBT community. This has proven to not be the case on more than one occasion. We need to reevaluate our understanding of democratic representation if we assume it to be as easy as a numbers game.

James Madison wrote in the “Federalist Papers” about the importance of democratic representation. He believed that a representative government should “refine and enlarge the public views by passing them through the medium of a chosen body of citizens whose wisdom may best discern the true interest of their country.” Under this view, the individual characteristics of a representative are not as important as the collective views of the public he or she is elected to represent.

It is through this understanding of representation that I know DeMaio will not represent my interest as a gay man if elected mayor. His lack of action and leadership on marriage equality may likely represent the views of City Council District 5, which he is elected to represent, but I refuse to believe those same inactions would be representative of the City of San Diego as a whole, and they are certainly not representative of my community.

Look at our current mayor, Jerry Sanders, who has become a strong and vocal advocate for full marriage equality. Sanders recently announced he is serving as one of the chairs for the newly established initiative Mayors for the Freedom to Marry, a bipartisan group of mayors around the country who pledge to support full marriage equality.

If Sanders, a Republican and straight man, can take a stand for marriage equality, then it is clear that the person best suited to succeed him will be someone who will continue to advocate for LGBT equality, regardless of sexual orientation.

—Allan Acevedo is co-founder and president emeritus of Stonewall Young Democrats of San Diego. He has worked on multiple political campaigns and served on numerous boards including the San Diego Democratic Club, California Young Democrats, Gay-Straight Alliant Network and Equality California PAC.

Leslie Robinson

I used to be a travel writer, but these days I’m ignorant about international travel. I don’t even know where gays with money—in this economy, all six of them—go abroad on vacation.

So I asked my friend LoAnn Halden, who both writes about travel and serves as the media relations manager for the International Gay & Lesbian Travel Association, where the happening places for gays are.

The short answer is everywhere she’s been. Now, now, don’t hate her for that.

The longer answer is a positive one. As LoAnn wrote me in an email, “The gay world is certainly larger than it used to be.”

I hadn’t thought about gay travel in that way before, but by the god of lost luggage, she’s right. In years past, if you were gay and out you likely stuck with the U.S., Canada, the Caribbean and Western Europe.

Now, while the whole world might not be your oyster, you can get your hands on more of the pearls.

LoAnn noted, “Certainly South America [and] Latin America continues its gay rise. Argentina and Brazil are leading the way, but I also know gays who love Colombia and we see plenty of gay group trips to Machu Picchu, Peru.”

I wonder if any Inca spirits still hanging around those spectacular Peruvian ruins wisecrack when they see yet another busload of men unload, attired in their colorful native garb commonly known as Abercrombie & Fitch.

Argentina legalized same-sex marriage not long ago. The Pride Parade in Sao Paulo, Brazil, is the biggest LGBT Pride celebration in the world. Gay rights in Colombia have moved forward. No doubt there are other reasons that Latin America has become a gay destination, but an improving LGBT rights picture is a factor.

“When you see changes in marriage [or] sodomy laws, like in South America or India, it adds to the buzz,” said LoAnn. Before you know it, gay men from Topeka are feeling the urge to samba.

Some savvy tourist officials around the world know the value of buzz. When Argentina legalized gay marriage in 2010, the tourism minister of Mexico City, which had legalized gay marriage the year before, offered a free honeymoon to the first gay Argentines to wed.

The offer was “in recognition of tolerance, but also to promote gay-friendly tourism in Mexico City,” said Tourism Minister Alejandro Rojas. No idioto, he.

Rojas said gay tourists are respectful, discerning and shell out 47 percent more than straight tourists. It’s a wonder every tourist official from Belize to Benin isn’t courting us.

Geez, 47 percent. As nations around the world grapple with LGBT rights, which are still an oxymoron to far too many of them, it would make sense for local tourism authorities to worm their way into the discussions. Especially with the world economy as it is, those charged with boosting tourism should quietly chant, “47 percent, 47 percent.”

As LoAnn mentioned, India made a welcome, landmark and really-big-deal change. In 2009, the Delhi High Court struck down Section 377, which made homosexual sex a criminal offense.

Last month LoAnn visited India on a trip for LGBT travel journalists, not sponsored by Indian authorities—apparently they don’t want to woo us yet—but by those in the private sector, like tour operators, travel agents and hoteliers. Word of that 47 percent has reached the Ganges.

LoAnn posted her India pictures on Facebook, and I for one drooled like a fool. I must start travel writing again. The next nation to improve its LGBT laws, I’m there. Guess that rules out Vatican City.

—Leslie Robinson isn’t even sure whether her passport is still valid. E-mail her at lesarobinson@gmail.com and check out her blog at generalgayety.com.

Michael Kimmel

For centuries, we’ve been taught to believe in the Prince Charming myth: a hero or heroine who will some day come along and sweep us off our feet. This amazing person will not only be gorgeous and strong, but will want to take care of us forever. Gay, bi, transgender or lesbian, we’ve all been brainwashed to think this way.

You may think you’re past it, but it’s not easy to erase hundreds of years of cultural mythology from your head.

Global media and an obsession with consumerism encourage the myth, too. Selling marriage, romance and love is big, profitable business. Have you ever wondered why there are all those love songs on the radio or why there are all those bridal magazines and engagement ring advertisements?

Big business makes billions of dollars off the illusion of a Prince or Princess Charming coming our way, followed by a big (expensive) wedding and living happily ever after, while spending lots of money along the way.

I am not advocating that we live alone, never date or enjoy all those love songs, but honestly, we’re programmed to be suckers for these expensive cultural myths. They’re great if they work for you, but what if they don’t?

If the myths don’t work for half of all heterosexual marriages, what do you think the odds are for you? I wonder if one of the biggest growth industries in the next ten years will not only be LGBT wedding planners but also LGBT divorce lawyers.

Believing the Prince and Princess Charming myth often gets us hopelessly enmeshed in culturally idealized concepts about love. Romantic relationships that are ostensibly about love in regards to monogamy or marriage are merely one way to structure love. Let’s look at what love really is.

Simply put, love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment; having a strong liking for another; taking great pleasure in something; or a sexual passion or desire, including embracing and kissing someone.

None of these definitions mention marriage, monogamy or husband and wife. Love is an experience; a relationship is a way to structure that experience. I invite you to take a look at your definition of love and what structure best serves the loves in your life.

While we’re at it, let’s take a fresh look at how we see and experience sex. The more I work as a psychotherapist in the LGBT community, the more I see people who are not satisfied by one sexual partner. It doesn’t mean that either person in the relationship is lacking, nor does it mean that either is psychologically damaged. When you look beyond the myth, you can see what works and what doesn’t work for you.

When same-sex marriage becomes available to us all, I see it as the perfect opportunity for the LGBT community to decide if we really want it. Let us question the Prince and Princess Charming myth and look within to see if marriage or a committed, monogamous relationship is right for us.

We can also expand the conversation to those we love and to those we have sex with. Let’s bring this topic out in the open: no more shame about non-monogamous relationships!

Don’t assume the straight community unequivocally embraces monogamy. I see many straight couples in my practice who are exploring alternatives to traditional marriage.

As LGBT people at this point in time, we have tremendous options. Traditional, heterosexual-style marriage is an option, but not necessarily the best option for everyone. Open relationships are an option, too, as are non-monogamy (in its many forms), poly-amory and living in a community with others.

Let’s take off our dark glasses and see the light. It’s a wide-open world out there and—once again—the LGBT community can lead the way.

—Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at (619) 955-3311 or visit www.lifebeyondtherapy.com.

Ian Morton | Profiles in Advocacy

Ian Morton

Editor’s note: Profiles in Advocacy is a new column written by Ian Morton, highlighting various non-profit advocacy organizations and individuals in San Diego. It is designed to celebrate advocacy in all areas of human services.

When you go to Christie’s Place, you recognize that you’ve come home. This may not be the house in which you grew up, but you realize despite eight offices and 15 staff members, Christie’s Place reaches its goal: to be a home.

Since doors opened in 1996, Christie’s Place has provided services to an often forgotten population: women and children. The staff strives to meet the unique challenges faced by women affected by HIV and AIDS as they maintain the roles of mother, spouse and career woman, among so many others.

Domestically, it is estimated that at least 20 percent of HIV positive women do not know their status and, of those who do know, only about 50 percent are in care. Services that support this demographic, who traditionally put their own needs second, are crucial to strengthening the global response to HIV and AIDS.

I was able to catch up with Christie’s Place Executive Director and 2011 Truax Award recipient Liz Brosnan. I couldn’t help but notice that Liz’s office sits ground level with a picture window facing directly onto the sidewalk. The curtains are open, and if she is in the office, everyone knows it. We talked a bit about that level of immediate accessibility.

“The front of the house… is where all of the hustle and bustle is,” Brosnan said. “Part of Christie’s Place is about being gender responsive and family-centered. All staff—management or not—are engaged in client service delivery and care. A lot of these families, we’ve known for 10 years and seen their kids grow up, coming into my office.”

This brought our conversation back to the beginning, and what inspired Liz to seek her professional home at Christie’s Place in the first place. The seed was planted years before, while she was senior services manager for the Red Cross, working with the transportation program. Her first steps into Christie’s Place faced her with women who wanted to express their thoughts on transportation services and whether they met the needs of an HIV positive woman.

“Let me tell you, these ladies let me have it,” Brosnan said. “Here were these women who had come from all different walks of life; who had been infected anywhere for one year to ten years; who joined this project because they needed support from other women who are positive.”

Brosnan added, “They also wanted to find their voice,” and called that initial moment very strong. “What a powerful place this is,” she said.

Christie Milton-Torres, an HIV positive woman and advocate who inspired Christie’s Place, recognized the impact of HIV on families and the staff is committed to carrying on her legacy. This is the center point of Christie’s Place’s services.

Brosnan explained, “when Ryan White came out in 1990 it was wonderful, but all of those services were focused on the HIV infected individual. Affected family members had no support mechanisms in place. However you define family, biological or not, there needed to be a place for families….”

We closed with discussing the annual women’s conference, A Woman’s Voice, held on National Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day in March. The next conference is March 10, 2012. I was curious as to the personal and demographic impact Liz had experienced by being a part of these events.

“For me it’s seeing the solidarity and sisterhood,” she said. “Women who come from all walks of life—women who don’t even speak the same language—the common denominator is HIV. It’s amazing to see people put aside judgments, put aside phobias… in realizing that we’re all human beings. It’s about human dignity; it’s about human rights; it’s about a social justice movement at the end of the day.”

Christie’s Place is located at 2440 Third Ave. For more information about their services and programs, visit christiesplace.org or call (619) 702-4186.

—Ian Morton has worked in the HIV field since 1994 when he began volunteering with AIDS Response Knoxville. He currently serves as outreach liaison for the AIDS Research Institute at UCSD. To nominate a person or organization to be featured in Profiles in Advocacy, please submit name, affiliation and contact information to imorton@ucsd.edu.

By Anthony King | GSD Editor

A. Carter Sickels (Photo by Yukiko Yamagata)

Carter Sickels is not interested in being labeled as a gay writer or a straight writer, nor is he interested in being labeled a queer writer or a trans writer. “I see myself as a writer,” Sickels said. “I am trans. I’m queer. I am gay male identified. I’m sort of all these things… but I also don’t want to be pigeonholed to one label.”

His first novel, “The Evening Hour,” was released this month and Sickels said he wants the book to speak for itself. “It’s important for me jut to be able to reach a lot of different kinds of people,” he said, “including the queer community but also these local environmentalists in West Virginia who probably don’t have a whole lot of contact or interaction with trans people.”

“The Evening Hour” is set in Dove Creek, W. Va., a small, economically depressed town faced with a large mining corporation’s move into the area to dig up the region’s coal-rich earth. Sickels, who said he heard about mountaintop removal methods of mining several years ago, visited the state to meet with environmentalists to learn about their communities.

“I like country spaces and rural spaces, but I’ve lived most of my adult life in cities,” Sickels said. “I was interested in exploring that and it is something I think about [in] my own life. I’m drawn to the country often… but at the same time, especially as a queer person, it’s very difficult to imagine living in spaces like that unless it’s a really progressive place.”

Cole Freeman, the main character in Sickels’s novel, was born and raised in Dove Creek, and decided to skip working for the mining company to be an aid in a nursing home. It is an unusual job for someone like Cole, a straight male struggling with the death of his Pentecostal preacher grandfather. For added income, Cole goes into drug dealing, selling the prescription pills of his elderly patients.

“The Evening Hour” by Sickels

“I feel like Cole is kind of an outsider, even in his own community. He’s very [much]… an observer on the outside,” Sickels said. “That kind of made sense to me and I understood that feeling, the feeling of invisibility.”

In speaking about Cole, Sickels is partially referencing his own life, transitioning from female to male and coming out as trans at the same time “The Evening Hour” was being picked up for publication by Bloomsbury Publishing. Sickels said Bloomsbury has been supportive in how he wanted to present the book. “They’ve been really amazing and behind me in whatever direction I wanted to take it in,” he said.

Another aspect of the novel is the relationship between Cole and his childhood friend, which Sickels said is often construed as a gay relationship. “Really, [it is] just a question about intimacy between men and showing vulnerability or not,” Sickels said.

“I didn’t set out to write a gay novel, whatever that is, or a straight novel,” he said. “I think that was an important part for me, to have the relationship in there. It wasn’t the question of ‘are they gay or not gay?’ It was really just about the fluidity and intimacy of sexuality and the complexities of gender and masculinity.”

Stepping Stone’s graduation: Stepping Stones treatment facility invites the community join in celebrating the recent graduates of their recovery program with a special ceremony honoring residents who are leaving the six month program. Stepping Stone gives individuals the life skills that help send graduates on the next step in the walk of life. Speakers from the community, including Program Manager Chris Meuller, City Councilmember Todd Gloria and Graduate Speaker Murry Foster, will be in attendance. Pam Highfill presents the certificates, and a post reception will follow the program. Social hour starts at 6 p.m., with the graduation at 7 p.m. The ceremony is being held at the Balboa Park War Memorial building, 2125 Park Blvd. For more information visit steppingstonesd.org.

Saturday, Jan. 28

Michael Sanchez at Martinis: I have a super-sized Martinis Above Fourth crush on Michael Sanchez—remind me to tell you about the time I was leaving and I was gushing GUSHING! in the elevator about how much I loved him and then this other person, who was also in the elevator, said, “That’s my son”—and he performs every Saturday at the piano and on vocals. He is amazing, so hit up the bar from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. but don’t you dare hit on him when I’m there. Martinis Above Fourth is located at 3940 4th Ave. For more information visit martinisabovefourth.com.

Sunday, Jan. 29

Hearts for Healing: Family Health Centers of San Diego (FHCSD) is hosting Hearts for Healing, a benefit art event. Hearts for Healing connects local school students with FHCSD through art, under the direction of artist Gerrit Greve. Students have been creating uplifting and heartfelt works for auction at the event. FHCSD has served the local community since 1970 by providing caring, affordable, high-quality healthcare to everyone, with a special commitment to underserved and uninsured individuals and families. The auction is from 1 to 4 p.m. at the Fairbanks Ranch Country Club, 15150 San Dieguito Rd. Tickets are $30. For more information visit fscsd.org or call (619) 515-2562.

Tuesday, Jan. 23

La Fierce entertains

La Fierce artists: La Fierce Entertainment presents the second in their monthly extravaganzas, titled “The Showroom Exhibit- A night of dance, music, fashion and arts. Held exclusively at Numbers Nightclub, this month’s theme is “What is color?” The Showroom Exhibit brings together all artists together under one roof, where you will see paintings, drawings, photography and fashion shows. You can even get a tutorial or tow in the art of makeup and hair. I talked the founder about his entertainment group; these folks really know art. La Fierce brings together two other dance revues, the Diva Dancer and Risque Men. He calls it the Pussy Cat Dolls meets Chippendale’s, with well over 15 dance members. Keep the ARTS Alive foundation will be there for a raffle, drink specials are set and the night will be much fun. Doors open at 9:30 p.m. and the show starts at 10 p.m. Cover is $5, 21 and over please and Numbers is located at 3811 Park Blvd. For more information visit lafireceent.com.

Friday, Feb. 3

Mutemath rocks: Hosted by the crew at the Casbah and appearing at 4th and B, New Orleans rockers Mutemath bring their Odd Soul tour to San Diego with Canon Blue. Catch them now, these guys are exploding. Presented by Bring on the Bright Lights, their album Odd Soul is the band’s third and the first one they self-produced. Band members Paul Meany, Roy Mitchell-Cárdenas and Darren King bring a spontaneity and spark to the stage. Tickets are $31 general admission and $41 VIP reserved. 4th and B is located at 345 B St, downtown. Doors at 7 p.m., 21 and older only. For more information and tickets visit casbahmusic.com.

Tuesday, Feb. 7

Pride flag meeting: The Uptown Planners group will be addressing the proposed Pride Flag Monument at its regular monthly meeting. Sponsored in part by the Hillcrest Business Association (HBA), the proposal is for the construction of a permanent Pride flag at the intersection of Normal St. and University Ave. was originally brought before the group in October. The flagpole has been proposed to stand 65 feet tall, with a 20 by 30 foot flag. After the October presentation, the plan was submitted to the City as part of the regular approval process for construction. The City, also per regulation, handed the proposal, with modifications, back to the Uptown Planners. The group is expected to vote on a recommendation for the project at the meeting. Have an opinion? Attend the meeting at 6 p.m. at the Joyce Beers Community Center, 1230 Cleveland Ave.

Wednesday, Feb. 8

Estelle croons

Estelle at Anthology: Grab a date and grab your tickets, U.K. soul sensation Estelle is performing two shows in one night at Anthology in Little Italy. This is perfect stuff for February because Estelle is the one to see for love and romance (and a bit of heart break, too). With her biggest U.S. hit, “American Boy,” still on my playlist, Estelle’s show is number one on my list. A must see, and you can grab some dinner too. The first show is at 7 p.m., the second at 9:30. Tickets range from $16 – $79 depending on time and where you want to sit. Anthology is located at 1337 India St. For more information visit anthologysd.com.

Thursday, Feb. 9

Chantal Carrere

Chantal Carrere for Laugh Out Proud: Martinis Above Fourth hosts this month’s Laugh Out Proud Comedy show, featuring funny, funny lady Chantal Carrere. Laugh Out Proud is the city’s only gay-produced comedy show specifically for the LGBT community. Matina Bevis, Sean Wherley, Sarah Burford and Paul Case will also be performing. The comedy is great, the drinks are amazing and it always is a good time. Martinis Above Fourth is located at 3940 4th Ave. (look up). The show starts at 8 p.m. and is super free (no cover). For more information visit facebook.com/laughoutproud.