Max Disposti

Northern Exposure
By Max Disposti

Only a month has gone by since my last column, but so many interesting things have already happened in North County.

However, there are some events that deserve the attention of all our readers, especially when their significance may change the way we perceive our lives in North County.

A unique scenario unfolded during the Fourth of July celebrations this year that perhaps only three years ago would not have been possible to imagine. A contingent of more than 70 lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals marched and was well-received in Oceanside’s historic Freedom Days Parade. The Parade is an annual event that brings together military from Camp Pendleton, Oceanside city officials, local businesses and citizens to march in celebration of Independence Day and in support of our freedom and troops.

When I first applied to participate at the parade in the name of the North County LGBT Coalition, I did not know what to expect. My last few years of work in the community have encouraged me to try to open any possible doors, even when they appear to be slammed shut. Supported by those in the LGBT community that have been serving our country in silence, sometimes with the fear of being caught under “don’t ask, don’t tell,” we decided to bring this contradiction into the open by visibly marching in a very traditional parade.

In organizing the march Lisa Kove of DOD Fed Globe contributed greatly to our success, as did the support and participation of San Diego City Councilmember Todd Gloria, San Diego City Commissioner Nicole Murray-Ramirez, former Democratic congressional candidate Tracy Emblem and groups such as Empowering Spirits, Equality California, Veterans for Peace and the Imperial Court.

Our message of supporting the troops, including LGBT service members and their families, was in the spirit of celebrating our freedom, and the belief that equality for all under the law should be cherished and respected. The cheering crowd, by their enthusiastic welcome of our contingent, seemed to have understood this message—perhaps even more than the Oceanside City Council members that, once again, could not be seen or found within our LGBT contingent.

Has our long-held perception of North County as conservative and intolerant finally come to an end? I hope so, and it is happening faster than any of our local political leaders could have ever comprehended.

Tragically, change did not come fast enough for Raymond Portillos Leon, a 22-year-old North County resident and LGBT rights activist who, just a few short weeks ago, took his own life. Ray, as have many others who live here, tried to escape the solitude of North County and find hope and more acceptance in San Diego. I still remember his determination while working in the recent campaign against Proposition 8.

Ray’s end is a tragic loss and a shocking wake up call for all of us. He is a reminder that the isolation that our LGBT youth still experience in North County could be life-threatening for some. Anything that can be done to protect and encourage our youth should be done, such as the work of Nicole Kent, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of “Our Circle” (www.ourcircle.org), a free LGBT support group for youth ages 14 to 24. Our Circle serves the North San Diego County and “provides a safe and positive environment in which to socialize and get to know other young people in the same situation in life.” For 10 years Nicole has been making a difference in our community, and I encourage you to support her efforts, even if you don’t have children of your own. The efforts of Nicole and many others like her in our community are like tiny beacons, able to shine light on the indifference and silence of too many.

— Max Disposti is the founder and president of the North County LGBT Coalition, a human rights activist and a real estate broker. He resides in Oceanside with Robert, his husband of 10 years. He also serves on Oceanside’s Community Relation Commission. He can be reached at maxrome@cox.net or through the coalition website at www.northcountycoalition.org